Been hearing rumours that unpatriotic types out there are saying that the only reason I’ve dragged this country into hosting a multi-million dollar Summit is to boost my ego. It’s true that my ego isn’t complaining, but these naysayers may be interested to know that the real reason I decided to throw this shindig is actually the gifts I’ll be receiving from the 33 other heads of government attending the meeting.
Technically these items don’t belong to me personally, but just as Queen Elizabeth II is probably not letting even Prince Philip put the earbuds of that iPod Obama gave her when he was in London for the G20 Summit into his (Philip’s, not Obama’s) waxy ears, Hazel and I have been making plans to enjoy the bounty about to be bestowed upon us by my fellow leaders in the Americas. The more organised among them have, in fact, had their booty delivered to the mansion ahead of time. Here’s what we’ve received so far:
- From David Thompson, Prime Minister of Barbados: 10 cases of flying fish. Much appreciated, as both Hazel and I love a good flying fish and bake, but next time DT’s staff should remember to remove the “Product of Tobago” stickers.
- From Barack Obama, President of the United States of America: Microsoft Zune portable media player loaded with classic American films and show tunes. Trying not to read too much into the fact that the Queen received an iPod and I only got a Zune, and a brown one to boot.
- From Juan Evo Morales, President of Bolivia: A t-shirt bearing images of famous hunger strikers, including Gandhi, Bobby Sands, and Choc’late Allen, along with the slogan “Not even for corn soup and calalloo” in Spanish. Hazel says me it serves me right.
From Baldwin Spencer, Prime Minister of Antigua and Barbuda: Copy of Jamaica Kincaid’s “A Small Place: The Expurgated Version“, 50 packs of boil-in-a-bag goat water, and a t-shirt bearing the slogan “I worked for Allen Stanford and all I’m left with is this lousy t-shirt”.
Looking forward to seeing what the others bring.
2 responses so far ↓
1 bandi // Apr 17, 2009 at 4:11 pm
so it it true that u made a u-turn in Macoya cause Barry arrived earlier that expected
2 Boops // Apr 19, 2009 at 9:16 pm
I am an unpatriotic type and I am spreading rumours…that are true.
Nyah nyah nyah…!
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